The Career Break Chronicles #2

I’m writing this in a trendy coworking space with unfettered views of the terracotta-and-pastel skyline. Up here, Lisbon looks expansive, framed by rolling green hills and starched by the sharp, southern European sun, which has thankfully softened to a more pleasant 24 degrees today.

We’ve dipped in here after our fifth - yes, fifth - attempt to reopen our Portuguese bank account, which was closed due to some unspecific administrative error. Portuguese bureaucracy really is as bad as they say, which Tarcisio, the world-weary bank clerk we’ve bonded with after these seemingly never-ending appointments, attested to this morning with a wry smile. I guess we’re in on the joke now.

Anyway! It’s hard to believe 2 months have passed already. We’ve settled in as well as we could have hoped, if not better. I’m getting more acclimatised to the lack of structure that comes with unemployment, especially given that this month I had no Portuguese classes to scaffold my weekly plans around.

I’ve been writing a lot (I gained new subscribers this month - thank you!). I’ve been going to events, seeing the same faces, building networks slowly, making efforts to deepen the individual friendships I’ve established so far. I hit a bit of burnout at the beginning of this month, so cut back on the amount of new events I was trying out, which helped with energy levels. I’m also realising that the challenge isn’t really turning up to events for the first time - it’s continuing to do so, week after week after week.

Despite abundant opportunity, it turns out building community in a new city is still slow, painstaking work - though not without its reward.

Trips!

This month, I made the most of not having too many commitments by doing a handful of trips. I’m loving the convenience of travelling to other places by bus or train, something I was sorely missing while living in Jersey.

Madrid was a particular highlight, and not only because it involved a reunion with an old friend from Jersey. Madrid was like a more condensed, warmer (literally and figuratively) version of Paris, with all the chicness and atmosphere you’d want from a European capital. Definitely one of my new favourite cities!

Honourable mention: anxiety spirals

This month I’ve also been thinking. A lot.

Maybe it’s a combination of having more idle time, more information, more requests from my partner to decide whether we want to commit to Lisbon for a number of years rather than just this one.

And right now, I just don’t know.

I wish I had a clear answer. I’d love to stay in Lisbon for 2-3 years for the experience alone. But there are some (significant) practical considerations - the job market in Lisbon is tight and the salaries are low. A career move here would weaken my financial position and result in me becoming more financially dependent on my partner, which is daunting enough without the notion of starting a family in the not-so-distant future. Yet I also don’t want to regret not taking big swings while I’m young and free enough to do so.

What’s also interesting is the fact that, so far, I’m struggling to summon the drive to grind for a corporate job in Lisbon. While natural networking in Lisbon has yielded exactly 0 results so far, my mind is much more focussed on impactful, identity-driven work. This led me to thinking about the idea of a portfolio career, including in the context of my hometown (should we return).

That’s the thing - even if I don’t manage to find work in Lisbon, living here has given me space to think, to test hypothesises and validate assumptions I had about myself. The entrepreneurial atmosphere of Lisbon has given me broader perspective, inspiration and ideas for new experiments to run, as well as a more crystallised idea of the person I want to be and the impact I want to make. No matter what, this venture hasn’t been for nowt.

Maybe I can make greater ripples in a small pond like Jersey. Or maybe Jersey really is too limited for this chapter of life. I don’t know. There’s no perfect place, no perfect decision - everything is a trade off, and eventually, you just have to make a decision either way.

Learning to tolerate ambiguity

I was reading Danielle Wilke’s reflections on her sabbatical year. I was comforted to read that it didn’t give her all the answers or necessarily make her ‘happy’. What she gained from it was much more subtle and difficult to define.

I’m feeling something similar. An inward expansion, a disruption, an exercise in discomfort, complexity and ambiguity. Exposure increases tolerance.

If there’s nothing else to gain from this year, as an overthinker, that alone is invaluable.

Until next time,

Rose :)