Moving Abroad at 31 vs. 21
First Czech Republic, now Portugal… it feels different now.
I’m writing this from my new desk setup in Lisbon, overlooking a busy, pastel-coloured street crowded with bakeries and family-run restaurants, where the chatter of an inconspicuous college campus mingles with the constant roar of traffic. It’s very different to my usual, quiet environs, but I like it all the same. It feels strangely nostalgic.
I’ve lived in Lisbon before - I started coming here in 2022, at the tail-end of COVID (people were still wearing masks on the metro, I remember) as I was luckily enough to be able to work remotely for my government job. The following year my partner got a job out here. So collectively, I’ve spent about 6 months in the city - enough to get well-acquainted with it, but not enough to really dig beneath the surface.
Last week, I started my sabbatical from my government job and moved back here with my partner, unfettered by the invisible thread of remote working tying me to my laptop and ostensibly to my home (Jersey, a small island off the coast of France - a coastal version of Switzerland, as someone called it the other week). Now, my days here are completely open, shapeless, ready for me to mould into whatever I feel like that day. It’s pure freedom. No accountability. The prospect is giddying as much as it is terrifying.
But this isn’t my first rodeo living abroad. I moved to the UK for university when I was 18, which was a sort of half-step to living abroad. At 21, fresh out of university, I took a punt and applied for a job in the Czech Republic. I got the job and a few weeks later, was on an Easyjet flight to Prague with two suitcases to my name.
I lived in the Czech Republic (specifically Liberec, a small city on the northern border with Germany and Poland) for three years. When I look back, those years were more transformative than those spent at uni. There were hard times, especially in the second year, but overall, I had a BALL. I don’t remember feeling especially nervous about moving there, though I imagine I was. It was a massive gamble that ended up paying off. I still look back and am kind of amazed that I did that all by myself.
It got me thinking about how - and why - that first experience of moving abroad felt relatively seamless.
People - I was lucky enough to be adopted into a friendship group of colleagues pretty much immediately. They were my kind of people and are still some of my closest friends to this day. We hung out all the time, so my social battery was always nicely topped up and I felt a deep sense of community with other immigrants there (of which there weren’t many - which probably helped). I also had a long-distance partner at the time who I’d call in the evenings, so I never really felt alone.
Routine - I can’t lie, I’ve always enjoyed having routines. While in Czech I had a busy job as a teacher, so my days were very structured. My friends and I also had regular activities - Monday night Zumba, Wednesday night dinner, Sunday craft sessions - which made life feel ‘full’ in a good way, even if I didn’t always love the day-to-day of teaching.
Culture - Unlike Portugal, which has been beleaguered by gentrification recently, the Czech Republic is an underrated gem. They don’t get many immigrants or tourists. The people there were very open and happy to have us. Also, I LOVE the laid-back, outdoorsy vibe of the Czech Republic. The cafe culture was amazing, everything was convenient and walkable, and we could hop on a bus or train and travel to other cities at the weekend if we fancied it. Besides from spending loads of time in Prague, I went to Brno, Wroclaw, Dresden, Krakow, Gorlitz, Vienna, Budapest, Bratislava, Leipzig and many others that I’m probably forgetting. Plus, everything was so CHEAP. The ease of life was amazing - my friends and I still reminisce about it today.
Time of life - In my early twenties, I felt like I was discovering myself. I was trying different things and pushing my own boundaries. I felt so confident, despite being young, out of shape and not quite ‘evolved’ yet. That confidence probably came from pushing those boundaries, of feeling independent and self-sufficient. At that time, nothing felt too deep - I wasn’t thinking about heavy existential questions like career, marriage, kids, or where to live long-term. I felt light and free, a feeling I honestly want to cultivate again now I’m 31.
Around COVID, I moved back to my island home. While I had a few wobbles at the beginning, I don’t regret it at all. In those 6 years I was able to build my career, try different things, develop my relationships with my family and friends, meet my soon-to-be husband and learn how to be in a proper, healthy, grown-up partnership. These things are priceless, and I may not have had them if I’d simply flitted off abroad again after the Czech Republic.
Scratching the itch in 2026
Over the last 6 years, I still felt a palpable tension between this hometown life - which represents comfort - with living abroad, which represents growth, independence, agency. After many failed international job applications, I decided to bite the bullet - I took a sabbatical and moved abroad again.
I arrived back in Lisbon this week. Comparing this move with my move to the Czech Republic, it’s highlighted to me why this one feels so different.
On the people front, I don’t have much community in Lisbon (yet). The friends I have are through my fiancee, which is great, but it’s important to me to have my own connections independently of him. This is probably the biggest barrier to feeling at ease here and the main thing I want to work on. It’s also a different experience moving abroad with a partner - something I might write about more at length soon.
In terms of routine, I’m currently not working and still finding the balance between healthy structure and spontaneity, which I haven’t quite figured out yet. Sometimes, the lack of structure makes me feel untethered and uneasy, but it changes day to day. I’ve got some trips planned, signed up to some Portuguese courses and I’m focussing on my creative hobbies, which I’m really enjoying so far. I also just want to let go and see where the days take me (easier said than done!)
As I mentioned, Lisbon has become very gentrified, which has led to some (warranted) tension from the locals towards immigrants like us. I want to be as mindful of this as I can, but I sometimes feel a tug of guilt for my very being here. I never felt this in Czech Republic.
And finally, time of life is probably the biggest factor. I’m at an age now where I’m very conscious of time. My priorities are shifting, I have less energy for things and decisions feel like they carry more weight - because they don’t just affect me anymore, they affect my partner and, potentially, any future family we might have. Phew, that’s a lot.
More than anything, I’m so grateful to have been able to scratch this itch at long last. I’m curious how things will evolve over the next several months, how my perspective will shift, and what new things will emerge.
If anyone can relate to this, I’d love to hear from you :)